Dusting off my 2020 Goals

Although it's not quite six months into 2020, I thought I'd give an updated status on how my 2020 New Year's goals are going. Let's just say my goal progress has been a complete and utter failure. I find it ironic that one of my goals was to better face rejection and failure...but I am definitely not counting this in that category.

I've been amazed at how difficult it's been to get myself motivated to do anything. I can't chalk it all up to Covid-19—even though I might want to—because the reality is my feelings have been so mired in getting my house finished, moving, starting a new job, and ramping up in my role. Close friends have heard me talk about the fact that I would dive into my 2020 goals after I got settled into the house, but really I have just been using that as an excuse to postpone what I knew would be challenging work. Now that I have moved in and unpacked, I still keep finding a thousand other little things to do that have nothing to do with tackling my bigger life goals, and the things that I know ultimately will make me more satisfied.

One question I have been asking myself is, why has it been harder than usual? With the quarantine, I have had extra time--so what has been stopping me from pursuing my goals? This weekend I read an interesting article from Vox, "Why is it so hard to read a book right now?" --that gave me a little insight into this question.

Oliver J. Robinson, a neuroscientist and psychologist, based at University College London, summed it up best when he explained that people are having a difficult time concentrating because "they're trying to resolve an uncertainty that is unresolvable." Anxiety under normal circumstances is usually a good thing because it makes us more aware--but this prolonged anxiety is very taxing on the psyche.

One of my 2020 goals was to read 52 books, and I did start the year off with a bang (6 books in the first 18 days), but it has been a slog since then. If it wasn't for my two book clubs, I don't know if I would have read anything else. Even my annual re-reading of my beloved Harry Potter novels was not as fun this year, and I ended up listening to 90% of the books. Usually, I don't enjoy audiobooks because I can read much faster than listening, but I struggled to concentrate, and listening became my backup. It does help that I can identify that perhaps anxiety has been affecting me more than I thought.

In the last month, I've been working on the Early Engagement Committee, which is focused on developing the onboarding plan for the summer HR interns at Dell. I am on social subcommittee, and it has been interesting to brainstorm ways to make their virtual summer internship as engaging as possible. Brainstorming with the group has provided the creative outlet that I've been denying myself this year and has been a friendly wake-up call and reminder. Yes, I can be creative even though the world is in a strange place.

Although there seems to be no immediate end in sight for my low-grade anxiety surrounding Covid-19, I can’t keep using it—and other excuses—from stopping me pursuing my goals. So now comes a refocused plan of attack for 2020. Research has shown that just getting started and having some momentum can help keep a project going--so that will be my new plan of attack. Creating daily, small check-ins to get my projects off the ground.

I'm looking for an accountability partner (or two)— someone I can check in with every couple of weeks to have an honest conversation about my goal progress for the rest of the year.ar. If you're interested in being my accountability partner, please let me know.

I hope you and your loved ones are safe!