Looking back by Krista Boivie

I seem to always be asking my students "What did you learn today?" I will apply this as I think about this past year...what did I learn?

2011 was the year of frustrations. I attempted to work on five very difficult and time consuming projects only to see all but two of them fail. It is humbling to invest hundreds of hours in something and then be unsuccessful. With each failure I have had to refocus and think about why I was attempting the project in the first place and if I should invest in redoing the elements that did not work.

The specifics about the projects are unimportant, but the lesson to never give up is what I am taking from it. 2012 will see me attempting to retry two of my projects.  I still might not see success with them, but I wouldn't be happy with myself if I didn't try it again.

2011 allowed me to exercise some much needed courage muscles.  While traveling in India this past summer my passport was stolen and I had to navigate the tricky burueacracy to get a police report, a new passport and an exit visa. I am often passive in situations where I am completely outside of my comfort zone.  I was fortunate to be traveling with my brother and his family and they were extraordinarily helpful, but ultimately it was up to me to solve my problem.  To my surprise everything went smoother than I had been envisioning and most of that had to do with me not backing down.  I was assertive and a little pushy when I needed to be and it has given me more confidence should a similar situation present itself.

The last major lesson I learned this year is to take action.  I have been talking about creating this blog for almost two years.  I had so many questions that I couldn't answer, logisitics to be planned and design choices to make that it was paralyzing me from starting. It is easy to plan and plan and then never execute.  I knew that I would regret it if I never just started.  This website is definitely still in its infancy, but I am excited to be working on it.  I know with all of life's major choices and actions there will be setbacks along the way--the real issue is to not allow the setbacks to completely stop you.

I hope you will take a few minutes and look back on 2011.  What did you learn? How will you grow from those lessons? I would love for you to share some of your lessons below.

The Wanderer by Krista Boivie

For years I have loved the poem A Story That Could Be True by William Stafford.

My favorite line in the poem is “Who are you really, wanderer?” In fact, I have it engraved on the back of my iPod. 

As a wannabe I often define myself by titles: sister, daughter, aunt, teacher, employee, etc. However, I am more than these titles.  

I think self-reflection is the key to any journey.  There are days when I feel as though my response to this question changes on an hourly basis. As the new year draws closer I think it is vital to begin having this dialogue with ourselves.

My main goal when I decided to create this sight to was to pursue this question. Not only in relation to what my career path is, but also in how I choose to live my life and the person I am trying to become. Since high school I have been plagued by my inability to settle on one idea of myself and I am sure I am not alone.

How do you define yourself? Are you defined by your job or something bigger?

The Journey by Krista Boivie

During my pivotal growing up years I knew who I wanted to be. I set my goals, made my lists and planned the trajectory for my eventual success as a doctor. I was confident that my future would be the way I had envisioned.

Much to my dismay when I entered college everything went horribly awry. I didn't recognize at the time, but everything I believed about myself went flying out the window and what I thought my life would become--changed. Two months into my first semester I had changed my major twice, and before I would eventually graduate with my degree, I had transferred to two additional schools and changed my major 10 times.

I didn't know it then, but I was a closet wannabe.

I have spent the majority of my adult life trying to figure out who I wanted to be. This has not been an easy process. I have spent more money than I can imagine taking classes, getting degrees and then changing my mind. Long gone was the girl that knew exactly what she wanted, replaced with a woman desperate for some answers.

On January 8, 2010, I figured it out. I was once again mentally going through the list of my options and all the different things I wanted to do, and in the middle of curling my hair--I said it out loud, "Wow, I have wanted to be a lot of different things--I am a total wannabe." Of course this was said in jest, but when I heard myself say it, it resonated with me.

I don't believe I have ever found a word that more succinctly declares who I am. I am a wannabe!

In that moment I knew I would never be the same person. I know that I am always going to be a wannabe and instead of fighting it I have decided to embrace my indecision and my quest for constant change.

I also know that I am not the only person out there who doesn't know who they want to be or are questioning how to become something more than they are.

I decided to create this blog to document my story and the stories of those other brave souls who are attempting to embrace their inner voice as they figure it out.