During my pivotal growing up years I knew who I wanted to be. I set my goals, made my lists and planned the trajectory for my eventual success as a doctor. I was confident that my future would be the way I had envisioned.
Much to my dismay when I entered college everything went horribly awry. I didn't recognize at the time, but everything I believed about myself went flying out the window and what I thought my life would become--changed. Two months into my first semester I had changed my major twice, and before I would eventually graduate with my degree, I had transferred to two additional schools and changed my major 10 times.
I didn't know it then, but I was a closet wannabe.
I have spent the majority of my adult life trying to figure out who I wanted to be. This has not been an easy process. I have spent more money than I can imagine taking classes, getting degrees and then changing my mind. Long gone was the girl that knew exactly what she wanted, replaced with a woman desperate for some answers.
On January 8, 2010, I figured it out. I was once again mentally going through the list of my options and all the different things I wanted to do, and in the middle of curling my hair--I said it out loud, "Wow, I have wanted to be a lot of different things--I am a total wannabe." Of course this was said in jest, but when I heard myself say it, it resonated with me.
I don't believe I have ever found a word that more succinctly declares who I am. I am a wannabe!
In that moment I knew I would never be the same person. I know that I am always going to be a wannabe and instead of fighting it I have decided to embrace my indecision and my quest for constant change.
I also know that I am not the only person out there who doesn't know who they want to be or are questioning how to become something more than they are.
I decided to create this blog to document my story and the stories of those other brave souls who are attempting to embrace their inner voice as they figure it out.