Defining Normal / by Krista Boivie

I had the secret desire growing up to be a spy (or a detective).  I only read mystery novels and carried around a homemade detective kit.  My dad, a former FBI agent, even taught me how to lift fingerprints.  Even though I dreamed about solving crimes when I grew up, I knew I could never be a spy.  I don't blend in.  I never have and I never will. I have always wanted to be "normal", but it just isn't in my DNA. I have always stood head and shoulders above my peers. Literally. By the fourth grade I was taller than my classroom teacher (by the way--my teacher was a man).  I stand over six feet tall today and no matter how much weight I may try to lose, I will never be a small woman.

Because I have never fit in physically, I have often felt like an outsider.  Even in my own family I am not normal.  I have only brothers and I don't speak the same language they do.  My family is amazing, but I don't think they really get me.  

My wannabe journey has also been my journey to fit in.  Wanting to fit in and be normal is a natural desire, but often I have found the attempt to be futile. I know that I am a work in progress and that I might not ever get over the desire to fit in and be like everyone else, I guess I will just need to find my own form of normal.

How do you deal with trying to fit in?